This white girl got lost in the Blues

Posted on May 15, 2013 by marrymeyoga

For a few weeks I have been caving. My John Gray (Mars/Venus) inspired term for hiding out, noncommittal, as I evaluate things and reboot. I have been lethargic and perhaps a little… wait for it… depressed. For no good reason. Though my life is far from perfect, I have my health, my faculties (though some may disagree) much love in my life and opportunity galore. But for all this richness, all I could see were holes in my life. (Miss you so much, Mom and Dad – and others I have lost) Cripes, what a fool I am! Frustrating, annoying, seemingly unfounded or not – everyone goes through a spell every now and then. Then, something astoundingly fabulous came at just the right time. Besides the most rewarding and healing conversation I’ve had in a long time with my ‘move-a-body’ friend, Beth – this white girl got lost in the Blues with him:

wait for it…..

Lyle Lovett and me

Have you heard his song ‘White Man Lost in the Blues’ from his new collection, Release Me? If not, you must.

It goes something like this:

You bought you a six string Gibson
You bought you a great big house
You try to sing like Muddy Waters
And play like Lightnin’ sounds
But since I blowed my harp
You feelin’ mean and confused.
It got you chained to your earphones,
You just a white boy, lost in the blues

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Here’s how I got that arm candy above…

Great friend Peggy (writer/blogger, novelist), learns Clair loves Lyle – his music, his swagger, his style, his great big Texan heart. Peggy is married to the son of a preacher man who changed 17 year-old Lyle back in Klein, TX in the 70’s. Pastor Finck is a Lutheran shepherd leading an impressive flock to bigger, better things and is of service like we all should strive to be. Lyle knows it and now I do to. (Are you following?) So this personal friend of the brilliance in the photo above in the not pink pants provided this clan with complimentary superb orchestra level center seats AND BACK STAGE PASSES for a show in Richmond, Virginia last week. This cave dweller got invited (thank you, Lord and Lyle) and it was divine intervention. When I tell you I am a changed person,

I ain’t lyin’ –

I ain’t blue anymore and

This Catholic yogi is going to hear Pastor Finck preach in his newest Lutheran Church in Chester, Virginia. I told you I was changed. And I should be.

I got this:

and another and another to celebrate Mother’s Day with. Even if I miss my own. Not blue. I am tickled pink. I wonder of this pink shirt would match my pink pants.

What’s your big moment of clarity?

3 Memoirs I know you will love

Posted on May 6, 2013 by marrymeyoga

You have your reasons for reading. To escape, to laugh, to get lost in a plot, to visit a character that feels like an old friend. Maybe it is to be inspired, help your self, learn something, or dream of places to go and people to meet. Whatever the reason, I can’t think of one that isn’t good. Like you, I may read all kinds of genres but Memoirs, lately, have been taking me from good to great. A good, true story that is brave and revealing is a great ride for me. Not necessarily an autobiography, a memoir is a collection of memories packaged in good writing and rich context – the details make the telling so compelling. According to Dictionary.com a memoir is:

1. a record of events written by a person having intimate knowledge of them and based on personal observation.

2. an account of one’s personal life and experiences; autobiography.
Origin:
1560–70; < French mémoire < Latin memoria; see memory

Well-written, gut-wrenching, raw and authentic, poignant, and inspiring and peace evoking is what the following memoirs are for me. I have been particularly inspired, changed, challenged and/or chewed up and spit out by these 3 particular memoirs. So much so I want to share it with my precious blog community – (and I do cherish you. Thank you for coming to visit me.) These are in no particular order of impact.

1. Rules of Inheritance By Claire Bidwell Smith

It is a beautiful telling of loss and ongoing recovery with the thread of hope and honor woven organically throughout. What really got me about this one was the raw honesty around how we cope. No judgment, just real and out there. The part about her struggle over the night her mother died rips me up. Here’s one reason why.

The author’s mother died in January of 1997 – just like me. Our mothers it seems were very similar. Charming, beautiful, charismatic and tenderly classically/sculpted in bone structure and personality. After our mother’s died, the author and I each met a nice boy from Ohio and married him within a year of meeting. We each had a child within a year of that young coupling. We each lost our Dad’s within 7 to 8 years of mother loss and have been called to parent parentless. We have the same name. (Just “e” and “no e”)I was floored at all the similarities of plot in our stories (these are but a few)and reached out to her via email. AND SHE WROTE ME BACK WITHIN DAYS. She’s a gifted writer and human being. I love her.

How did it change me? I am finally, finally honoring my grief after many years of diverting it. I am settling into writing more and more and believing I may actually be a writer.

2. Wild by Cheryl Strayed

This is an adventure book as much as it is a memoir. It starts out similarly in that the author was dealing with major major loss – her mother and her marriage. This telling of living and dealing and rolling around in grief has some humor in it’s tone. Cheryl is not afraid to laugh at herself at her foibles as she sets out to hike 2,100 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail over six months BY HERSELF with MINIMAL ‘TRAINING’. She doesn’t minimize the backdrop that motivates her trek but doesn’t miss the details in which we often find levity and healing. The massive callouses on her hips from the weight of her backpack (an inanimate that breathes) are rendered artistic. A real ride, this one is gripping and suspenseful.

How did it change me? My family and I have taken 2 healthy hikes and we have plans for more. I uttered the words ‘extreme hiking’ to my husband. And this hotel dweller received a smirk to end all smirks. But I did sign up for a weekend of adventure with a group of cool and accomplished women in Canaan Valley, West Virginia. And I bought a Mountain Bike. See?

Thanks, Cheryl. I will let you know how the new adventurous living mantra turns out.

3. My I Be Happy by Cyndi Lee

May I Be Happy: A Memoir of Love, Yoga, and Changing My Mind

Cyndi Lee is an ex-dancer and ever-popular yoga teacher who has had battled poor body-image issues and their vast ripple effect her whole life. I can relate to this on every level. I was a good dancer just always 15 to 20 pounds too big for the stage (I was told over and over again – “Clair, you could really be something if you weren’t so big.” – is the takeaway). I teach self-love and self acceptance yet I judge, judge, judge my self worth on what I put in my mouth. I have two (thin/fit/beautiful) friends who patiently encourage and coach me on this issue constantly. I love you, Beth and Amy. The author can use a little Amy or Beth in her life. And she finds it in a Buddhist nun, Jamie Lee Curtis and other influencers who hold her hand and her heart in high esteem. For me she is beautifully written group therapy – just Cyndi and me as we find our light inside. We are almost there. Even the Amy’s and Beth’s of the world would enjoy this telling of a journey to self-worth, whatever the albatross may be.

In the candid, contemplative memoir May I Be Happy, revered yoga teacher Cyndi Lee gives readers an unforgettable gift: the ability to focus on our experiences as we have them, on the way to a lighter life.

For all her wisdom as a teacher, Cyndi Lee—founder of New York’s world renowned OM yoga Center—understood intuitively that she still had a lot to learn. In spite of her success in physically demanding professions—dancer, choreographer, and yoga teacher—Lee was caught in a lifelong cycle of repetitive self-judgment about her body. Instead of the radical contentment expected in international yoga teachers, she realized that hating her body was a form of suffering, which was infecting her closest relationships—including her relationship to herself. –B & N

How has this changed me? I listen to my very own words as I passionately say them to my yoga students. I have always believed what I teach to others, now I am listening and learning to apply the same tried and true concepts to my self. May I be happy. May you do so too.

Do you read like Memoirs? Recommend some….

V(agina) Day is bigger than I thought. This is the moment.

Posted on April 28, 2013 by marrymeyoga

This post started out as plea for folks to stop caring about what others think and live with the passion and abandon like you no longer give a sh*t about what others think. Only you. You and your maker. I was to ask about your moment of clarity when you decided YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Important enough to honor and cherish until death. Like you do everyone else. I wanted to know when you decided it was okay to get a tattoo, take that class, get on the airplane, step into that hot tub, show-off that scar like the art it is, dance like no one is watching or any other thing outside your normal comfort zone that pricks at the fire inside. Deep, deep inside. We all have it, the flame for a life of authenticity and joy. God wants us to experience JOY in life. Complete. Absolute. Joy. It makes God happy!

But things changed: I received an email from a Yoga friend inviting me to sit Sastung or in communal, respectful truth in powerful acceptance of differences and complete accepting authenticity. The theme of the day was to be ‘Feminine Energy’. She had recently seen Eve Ensler of the Vagina Monologues during her ‘V-Day’ tour. My friend was inspired to help facilitate the flow of feminine energy as it is much needed in our world today, more than ever. Besides awakening the beauty and power of feminine awareness, Eve Ensler is about a cause.

What is V-Day? It’s a play and so, so much more.

V-Day, a nonprofit grass roots movement dedicated to ending violence against women around the world. In three years, V-Day has spread to over 300 colleges, where students and faculty have performed The Vagina Monologues on V-Day, February 14th, as part of a movement to stop violence against women. V-Day has raised over 3 million dollars which it has given to organizations fighting for the rights of women in Afghanistan, to stop genital mutilation in Kenya, and rape crisis centers in Bosnia, Croatia, and Chechnya, as well as hundreds of domestic programs to combat rape and abuse. Thanks to V-Day, The Vagina Monologues has been taken to 20 countries, including China, South Africa, The Philippines, Brazil and Turkey.

To learn more about V-Day, please visit www.vday.org.

And so, in acclaiming who we are – who we are created to be, men and women alike. We do so much more than we think. We can’t single-handedly change the world but one moment at a time we can enter the current of the energy we have and in partnership manifest change in our life, our community – one moment at a time.

And no, the ceiling can’t hold us.

Can we go back, this is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us

— Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

There. Is. No. Time. Like. Now.

Meet Macklemore, lyricist from the above tune, Can’t Hold Us.

Don’t hold back. Be authentic and you can change the world. What’s bigger than you think?

Can Yoga help you lose weight?

Posted on April 23, 2013 by marrymeyoga

We’ve all seen it. That ‘Yoga Body’: sculpted, lit up from the inside out. Looks something like this.

Madonna’s ‘Yoga Arms’ are so, so pretty.

She and Jennifer Anniston and Julia Roberts and Princess Kate and a bevy of other beauties attribute their bodies to their Yoga. And I want in.

Whereas the results of patient, consistent practice over a long period of time are undeniable, it seems a little disingenuous to focus on the results of regular yoga practice. It becomes external reaching instead of internal seeking – then everything gets all jumbled up.

But, I am all for whatever gets you on the mat. I am as vain as the next. I suffer from distorted and obsessive body image issues (there, I said it) but I engage in and teach this healthy beautiful yoga practice and guess what – I am getting better and my arms and back make me proud. Proud to be strong and yes a little strapping.

My yoga practice might be healing me from the inside out, but guess what?

Yoga can cause weight loss.

Yoga can give you Jennifer Aniston’s body.

Yoga can improve your life and relationships.

I realize I may be preaching to the choir but I must say that incorporating yoga into your lifestyle can benefit you in many ways. Increasing your flexibility, keeping you stronger and stress free. It can also help you lose weight, and keep the pounds off. If you practice yoga several times a week doing exercises that raise your heart rate, such as vinyasa or flow yoga, you can shed those pounds.

One of my teachers whose physique and spirit I completely admire – hasn’t run a mile since high school but she has practiced her Ashtanga Primary Series everyday uninterrupted for almost 9 years. Besides being gorgeous and sculpted in everyway, she looks like she has a light bulb in her mouth. She is a special soul and I realize not everyone gets bit so hard by the yoga bug but I want in. All the way.

Regarding weight loss – one of most profound ripple effects of regular yoga practice is the development of mindful eating habits. All of the focus on the breath and being ripe in the present moment really tunes you into your own personal nutritive needs – your own constitution of you will. Your body is brilliant. It will message you for what it needs. Listen to it. Besides it’s trendy and cool and you will be oh so hip if you mention you are into mindful eating.

I am drunk with love for yoga and all it’s benefits.

Quotes Wayne Dyer

Source: www.yogalifejourney.com

Choose heaven today. Roll out your mat. Tune it. Nourish. See what happens next. Your body follows your mind and your life will respond in kind. Light and bright.

Do you believe yoga can help you lose weight?

Yoga at the Boston Finish Line

Posted on April 17, 2013 by marrymeyoga

Like so many of us, I am shocked and stunned by the terror at the Boston Marathon on Monday. I am sick to my stomach over the grievous injuries sustained, life lost and shattered dreams caused by unfathomably dark human minds. The fear left behind to ooze through the veins and psyche of innocents is a tragedy in and of it itself. But one we can control.

We must not feed the fear.

We must not allow the darkness to shadow our light which is our birthright.

We must practice Yoga for the Boston Finish Line – I am a yogi and a runner and this seems like just the thing to do when we can’t think of a thing to do.

I have completed 2 marathons and am currently training for my 3rd. I am not fast enough for the elites at Boston, not yet anyway. (Take that, terrorist-from-hell – you just inspired me to work harder.) I know what it takes and how it feels to make it to that spot in the race where the bomb went off. I simply can’t imagine.

I admire so much the elite athletes who qualify for the world’s most famous marathon. I have friends in that crowd, one in particular who ran the 2011 race. I expect to be her to be back in 2014. Already we see the ‘can qualify’ turning to ‘will qualify’. Light swallows dark no matter how grievous the bite.

News anchors and the heroes at Mass General have said the bombing has brought us closer together

Source: Fox News

Runners, Americans, humans, first responders, caregivers – connected by this awful, awful thing. Rays of light extending out in a web of love and empathy, compassion and the raw will to live.

Particularly those of us who practice yoga, have a tender space for the concept of human connection. We are each and all a part of a bigger whole, yoked by human experience and this practice of yoga, the methodical scientific pathway to deepening the human experience on both a visceral and spiritual level. Taking our yoga off the mat fertilizes and enriches the human experience with kindness and compassion in each moment that comes to us and will over and over and over again – well past the cheap, weak BOOM! on Monday.

Yoga, yokes us to our Basic Goodness, something we are each born with. Even everyone on your sh*tlist. Through yoga and running we can peel back the layers of our unique experiences and connect with that place the gem – diamond-like treasure of Basic Goodness.

I am reminded of the pose Vajrasana which is delightfully explored in Cyndi Lee’s book, May I be Happy. In Sanskrit vajrasana means Diamond-like or Thunderbolt. This is what it looks like:

Source: my.yoga-vidya.org

Simple, mighty. This pose helps you move your blood, and your energy, towards your upper body and head. It helps reduce stress. It clears the mind and builds strength to enable connection to the Diamond-like quality inside, the treasure of Basic Goodness. Something the perpetrators of Monday’s attack clearly did not have the capacity to do. But we do and we will. Over and over and over again.

It just occurred to me that some teachers also call this one hero-pose, aptly named for every runner and fan at the Boston Marathon this year and every year for all time. I will take hero’s pose for even a second at the finish line of my next marathon in Miami to connect to everyone affected by this awful, awful act. One day, maybe I’ll practice this yoga at the Boston Finish Line.

Runner’s, yogi’s, you in?

A different kind of 10k

Posted on April 14, 2013 by marrymeyoga

If you live anywhere near the Eastern Seaboard, you have heard of the Monument Avenue 10k. This is the ultimate group run with 39,999 of your closest friends. My husband and I have run this fun race for 5+ years mostly because it draws us from our semi-rural county to the historic city streets of Richmond, Virginia – city haunts from my single days. I still fancy myself and my posse of friends like Ross and Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, Monica and Joey. (THAT will date me.) Sorry Goochland die-hards, I am a city-girl at heart.

I fancy myself as Rachel – 3rd from left. Good-hearted, a little flaky and neurotic – but that’s another post.

Here, I am second from left and closest to my wine. See the resemblance?

The 2013 race was about just that. Friends. And family. Ever trying to improve and in competition with myself, I am neurotic about my race times – as many runners are and yogi’s can be about their alignment and ability to hold a pose. But this was a different kind of race. It was all about the fellowship. Kumbaya, My Lord. Kumbaya.

We were united all of us – Larry, Megan, Amy, Mimi, Beth- by the desire to run in the beautiful sunshine cheerleading our offspring and friend’s offspring to the finish. 6.2 miles is a long way to go when you are 8 or 9 or 12 or 14 or 42 or 43 or 44. And we all did it!!!

It was his first:

Left-handed pitcher and baseball player extraordinaire with a sheepish sense of being ‘slow’. My son has tenacity and focus and a work ethic better than his mother. I love him.

It was her second:

9 year-old and the youngest of 3. Pulls at her Mom’s heartstrings everyday. Spoiled. Spoiled. Spoiled.

It was my 9th and I was off to have some fun:

I love Richmond, Virginia and all the graffiti and history of the city.

A great time was had by all. My Jane said, (as she was high-fiving anyone who would during her last mile):

“Mom, I want to do this again next year and I want to do even better.”

I told her:

“Sure, as long as you don’t get neurotic.”

I’m following her:

After the race, she convinced me to get my first pedicure in 4 years.

I love her. And Megan. And Amy. Andy Mimi. And Larry. And Beth. And all my friends. Want to meet at Central Perk?

Remember that? It’s not on Monument Avenue in Richmond, Virginia. But there’s plenty of cool spots along the route.

Do you run with your children?

What’s your favorite coffee shop?

People you should meet…

Posted on April 4, 2013 by marrymeyoga

A few posts ago I asked for stories of complete indulgence. I was in a bit of a funk over a difference of opinion in my home over spending money on vacation. Too boring, too many factors to detail but suffice it to say we are going to Hilton Head, SC staying in a lovely and affordable condo and everyone is happy.

I wasn’t sure what I was looking for from that post but I was motivated by disgust with myself for living a restrained and careful and hesitant life. I fancy myself a glam gal but am earthy at heart. I am reasonable and not terribly ‘spendy’. However, I am not afraid to live a full life. I want it with the intensity of a jungle cat. I was feeling stuck and needed a bridge from intense desire and good intention to action plans and taking steps. Maybe that’s what I was looking for. Because that’s what I got.

Several folks wrote to share inspiring and personal stories of their own – facing the fire of desire and change and living in the glow of the unknown. Real people who continue to take real steps everyday toward their heart. Great accounts of ‘getting there’. How sweet. How humble. How generous to let the stories out of your heart and into mine and now yours. I am grateful.

These, friends, are people you should know.

Mother Runner, stronger than she knows, and building more – look out!!

So I’ve been thinking about your post and if I’ve ever followed my heart’s desire. There are some big things, like getting married to my high-school sweet-heart and having kids instead of a career. That has worked out well. I have 5 kids. We are still married and very happy. But while that was following my heart it wasn’t a leap or huge change. I guess taking up running was that. At 37 I had 5 kids, youngest was 2, and was physically breaking down. We thought I had something serious, and after numerous test showed nothing I knew I needed to change. I started running, and then yoga. I was never an athletic kid. I was the tall, lanky teen, who looked too thin and had no muscle tone. I hated to put out any effort. And then right before I turned 38 I started running. I loved it. It was a tough road. I had a few bad injuries, since this old body was not up to the pounding. But I have stuck with it (I’m 43). And this year another small leap. I’m still running, but I have put it on the back burner in order to go after strength, I am now practicing kettlebell. I always hated that I was physically weak. I want to be strong. With 1 in college and 4 more kids to care for, I know I need to be strong. I want to increase my physical strength to match my needed emotional/inner strength.

(I wish you lived close, so we could have coffee.)

Novelist and Soldier to boot! – mother, friend, tenacious like I’ve never seen.

every day. every day that i labor and pray and survive the failures in my fight for my crazy unlikely dream.

it is not for the feint of heart. i could use a little less baking to be honest with you. “half-baked bs” is a lot easier. sometimes i’m not sure i’m strong enough for the oven.

but i i am. i am. i am. i am.

i’ve told you my mantra? its: “i am a soldier.” i put fear, exhaustion, pain etc. to the side, square my shoulders, look ahead and move ahead.

one day i was getting out of bed at 4:30 to write after a late night and chris murmured, “you’re a soldier.” it woke me up and i embraced it. i’m a soldier. soldiers don’t fight just battles, they fight wars. eventually somebody wins. i’d love it to be me.

(It will be you, I am sure of it. Watch out, she’s on her way to big things. I’ve read her stuff. And am honored to have a first peek at something that will be on many, many coffee tables, bookshelves, and nightstands)

Entrepreneur, fitness instructor with the guts to make change, preserve her beautiful self and take something great and run.

A few years back as I was still working full time in a job that was becoming more stressful, more meaningless and more of a lame attempt to get a paycheck, I was becoming less and less happy. My husband hated seeing me come home with so much anger and complaining that he decided we needed to have “that talk”.

He knew how much happiness teaching/instructing brought to me, but knew due to my full time job, that I was limited to how many hours I could teach.

After weeks of doing budgets, research and talking, we both decided I would quit my full time job and I would teach full time. Wow – talk about a load of stress taken off my shoulders!

Are times tough? You betcha! Do I still stress? You betcha. But this is a different stress. This isn’t a “I hate my job stress”, but a stress that a husband and wife work through. Am I happy? You betcha! And it shows with how I teach, with how I hold myself and with how I treat others.

I used to take offense when others would ask what I do all day since I don’t work. Now I just smile and say I take care of me, my husband, my house, my animals and my participants.

It was a huge leap of faith, but with the backing and support of my husband and many others, I am so happy that I took that leap!

(I am happy you did too. She’s a fellow fitness instructor with a fiercely loyal following. They love her. Me too. She and her husband are bound for a magazine cover. I’m thinking Entrepreneur – stay tuned.)

And so since reading these and others, I signed up for another half marathon, led my first yoga workshop, and got in touch with an author I am trying to get an appointment with. It worked. You inspired me. I am taking steps. Getting to that sweet spot. Thank you. And so I begin this day in gratitude. That, my friends is a sweet, sweet spot.

How did your day start?

marrymeyoga

Balance. Flexibility. Strength. Forever.